The Positive Side of Sports

Kathryn Lengell, RScP

Published in: TEAM Magazine, Vol. 1 No. 1

Before you ever set foot in the car to drive your son or daughter to their upcoming game, one could decide ahead of time exactly how the day will go and be reminded of just how important it is to set the tone of the day before the upcoming game.

You are your child’s most important role model. Even when you think your child isn’t listening to you, he/she is. Your child watches your face, listens to your words, and sees the attitude and outlook before the sports game ever begins. Your daughter/son listens to you with their mind wide open to hear what you think, and allows your words, body language, and the essence of you to help them decide who they are going to be this day, and this goes far beyond the game at hand into the everyday life of the family unit.

As parents, we have all sat in the stands and listened while a parent tore into their child’s self-esteem with criticism, leaving them standing on the field, feeling that they are the biggest loser in the game. We’ve watched a child’s face fall, as a parent tells them what they should have done, after the fact, to make the play or get the winning score. No one can get a moment back to relive it, and this mode of communication is not only destructive but defeating. We get to decide how we will show up in life, and we pass this on to our kids.

If you think back on your own childhood, you may have had a parent just like this one described here. What would you have given to hear an encouraging word and to be told “don’t worry about it…you’re doing great”, instead of begin criticized in front of everyone at the game. Every child sets out to do his absolute best, just as every grown-up does in the working world. No person ever intends to go into any given situation to do their worst. We have the most amazing opportunity to help our child remember his/her greatness, and I’m excited to help each person remember this fact.

What would happen if your child only heard positive affirmations before a game, and was taught positive self-talk as a tool for life? Positive affirmations are a great tool for everyone to use, because it puts the power right in your hands to decide ahead of time exactly who you will be and how you will act, despite whatever may happen within your day or within the sport your child is playing. What would the outcome be for the game he/she is playing if your child heard “today is a great day, and I can’t wait to watch you play”, “you are going to be playing your best game ever”, and “I know you can do it, because you are a great athlete”, and “you are going to have a perfect game today, even if you don’t win, because you get to decide that this moment”.

If children are taught powerful tools to use in their lives, such as a daily ritual of positive self-talk, and if they watch their parents using this same tool, they will quickly learn that the power of creating their day is right in their own minds and they will use it. The most powerful and successful people we know did not get where they are by criticizing themselves and by a steady stream of negative self-talk. They succeeded because they told themselves every single day “you can do it”, and they are successful because they believed in themselves without wavering.

It’s a little-known fact that it takes 17 seconds of thinking about something in your mind before your thoughts begin to create your future reality. When life happens in a way that I’m not happy about or someone I encounter demonstrates “unskilled behavior”, sometimes I give myself the entire 17 seconds because I’m furious about something and my ego has taken over and perhaps I feel justified to think of some pretty amazingly negative things to focus on. Sometimes I can catch myself right away and ask myself if this is how I really want my day to go, and do I really wish to spend an entire day of my wonderful life in anger, disappointment or defensiveness. Much more importantly, do I wish to encounter similar people or create similar circumstances for myself in the future? I can usually calm right down if I remember this, and I can choose to redirect my thoughts into more positive ones that create much more positive experiences for my life.

I’m hoping there are many parents who feel the way I do, and those parents would like to live in a peaceful, harmonious world with their children. The choice always rests right within our own family unit and our very own homes; and when we choose to focus on the positive side of life, life provides us with positive feedback and mirrors our choices back to us.

If your life isn’t reflecting back to you what you wish to experience, it might be time to take a look at your output. It could be time to ask yourself what you really would like to experience in your life, along with remembering that you get to choose it. We each are responsible for creating our experiences, and the power is within our own minds. Teaching your children this valuable truth will empower their lives and move them into a life of choice and positive outcomes.

Sports gives both parents and kids the most amazing opportunity to “practice” being positive that I’ve ever seen. As I personally sit in the cheering section, I know in my heart what my job as a parent and as a human being is. It is to be the role model for my kids and those around me. Expressing my positive comments out loud encourages my own interpersonal relationships with the parents I sit with and to BE the change I wish to see in the world, and it also plays the part of keeping me on my path in the bigger journey called “life”. This not only affects my child’s life, but it affects me and everyone I come into contact with, and it doesn’t stop there. It affects the game I’m enjoying, the community I live in, and it continues to ripple out from there to affect the world we all live in. And while I’m busy changing the world from my seat in the stands, I also get to watch and enjoy the game my child is playing and see the joy in my child’s face right in front of my eyes.